wag the hog

I have no problem with some players in the NFL having personal issues, some of which are the result of something stupid they’ve done. They’re human. Also, in any population you’re going to have a certain amount of assholes. It’s science.

The problem is that instead of saying we’re not perfect or we signed a dick, the league tries to play politics with its fans. I don’t care if you got a guy on your team who’s a serial killer or has an abundance or parking tickets, let the legal system deal with them, kick em out and lets play football. But do not, my beautiful league, ever bullshit me.

There’s all kinds of talent out there who don’t use pioneer like discipline methods on their children, beat their fiancé or perpetrate drive-bys on someone cause they done went and disrespected em.

We understand that much like ourselves, you’re not perfect. We’re sorry these events occurred but always be honest with the fans and we will always give you our allegiance and disposable income.

In a world that tries to sell us and tries to spin things in the favor of the few from sacrifices of many, all we want is some purity. Don’t sell us. Don’t deceive us. Give us the game we love and we will always be there. Give us something pure in which we can engage ourselves, ones desire to win. In between all the hustle pushed upon us, give us our game.


the skins of our fathers

The manifesto is proposing the Washington Redskins change their name to the “BlackSkins”. Think about it, there are more black people (is it ok to say “black people”? I wouldn’t want to offend anyone) Than Red People or “RedSkins” as the boys at the Gun Club call em, in Washington. Washington is also home to the first openly black president in U.S history! Anyone have a problem with that?

See, Whiteskins like to name people the easiest way possible. Helps em remember things. They see a person of dark skin and call em black. Yellow, yellow. Red, Red. Easy right? Remember this for the test at the end of the article.

The Washington Football Organization believes that the name Redskins holds a part of some twisted American tradition, and that changing it to simply stop offending an entire race of people would require a lot of work and ethics that they are no mood to either pay for or posses.

If foreigners from another country came to the U.S and tried to live there, they would be called invaders. When Europeans came to what is now know as North American they were called settlers. Ignore the fact that at the time there were some indigenous peoples that were already kinda settled in.

Does the American public even understand how much damage European “Settlers” inflicted on the Native population? Not only were the original inhabitants raped and enslaved but most of their entire race was eradicated either on purpose or because of diseases brought over from Europe. That’s what we call a Gen-o-cide… Not to mention the fact that in todays society most Native people are treated like second class citizens, having been perpetually disenfranchised by the WhiteSkins.

The only proof we need of this is in the fact that if we named any sports group or organization after a outdated and raciest nickname it would be cause for riot and uprising! Do you think African Americans (we used to say black but that made Caucasians uncomfortable) would tolerate a team name like the Florida “Blackskins” or the latino team, you know, the California “Brownies”?

The people that were here first, suffered for their land, died for it, while all the other shades of human came and took it from them and gave them nothing for it but a Football Team and society that pisses on them by not doing what should have been done, without asking, a very long time ago. Why are we having this conversation in 20fuckin14?

We need to step up as a society and say that this is not ok and that we’re sorry for the sins of our fathers. We need to make things right. Not just changing the name of a football team.

I love the NFL. I don’t hate on it. I want it to be better. Most of all… I want to live in a society that when it says it wants equality for all, they mean it.


an inconvenient proof

The NFL needs to make good with the players that have suffered for the game they loved in their effort to make rich people wealthy.

We all understand that the science and research that exists now hasn’t been around long but the fact remains that player’s health and safety took a backseat to winning for a very long time.

I’m sure that at a young age even if you were asked whether or not you cared if you’d be a vegetable at age 50 or 60, have depression or wouldn’t be able to walk we’d still say “put me in coach”. That said, should the league not take care of the men that made it the most popular sport in the Nation? The business that made so many fortunes even more fortunate for the few while the many suffer. Sound familiar?

We get it, it was a mistake. I can deal with some old school ignorance as an excuse for being a dick… kinda. However, the fact remains that in a time when players were suffering the worst, they were being paid less and had a benefit program that ended after after 5 years (if you played for at least 3 seasons). Did you know that if you make it on to a Major league baseball roster for one day, you are then covered for life. 1 day. Baseball?

Our childhood hero’s have been and are hurting from their sacrifices to the game we love. The men who built the league into what it is today get nothing for their time on the field but memories and pain.

The biggest black eye in my opinion, that will be remembered  by fans and participants is when the NFL was making a shit load of profits, it made no move to right its biggest wrong.

To the Fans, the NFL says “come and watch our great game. We’re making it safer. We have coverage that will now cover players under the current CBA with health care for the rest of their lives” It’s just the right thing to do.

To old players they say. Tough shit. Thanks for the use of your mind and body. Sorry we fucked it up so bad.

I’m not bashing the NFL. I love the NFL. Football saved my life. The players I grew up watching saved my life. We owe them our allegiance. Don’t we? It’s just the right thing to do.


CFL spotting

Are you an NFL fan whose missing Pro Football? Of course you are!

It’s around that time of year where even the prospect of a pre-season game is enough for us to break out our cheese heads or spiked shoulder pads and face paint.

If you’re in the U.S and are in the shaky stages of pigskin withdrawal, worry not! You’re friends to the north (Canada)… have a league of their own. It’s true.

If you’re looking for a game that can satisfy your craving for crushing, check the CFL. Great league with a lot of talent amongst the 9 teams that stretch across this great nation.

Some might tell you that easing your desire for Football by watching the CFL is like trying to get off Heroine by smoking pot. Maybe so (I’ve never tried smack) but i will say this… Canada has great pot. And great football.


save the drama

NFL teams need to send a message to its gangsters and a drama queens that being a great player does not give you license to be an asshole.

Throughout the year we hear stories of players arrests and off the field drama that keeps the commissioner up at nights thinking about how he can keep the NFL brand from being tarnished by SOME players who think rules don’t apply to them. In the first 6 months of 2013, 38 Players were arrested for various offenses. From a staggering amount of DUI’s, assaults and a murder charge.

The NFL needs to continue to try and create a culture of professionalism but won’t be taken seriously by its players until they know that having talent does not ensure that they have a job. However, talent has become a get out of jail free card for most players, keeping them in the league and for the most part out of jail. Community service, a fine, maybe go to the local school and tells kids not to do drugs, wear a condom and basically not to do any of the activities that go you in that situation. All is forgiven. Right? We’re sure you’ve learned your lesson…

The company line seems to be that SO & SO is “seeking treatment” for whatever trouble they caused and I guess they are then absolved of any wrongdoing. We can now forgive them for their dumbassery because hey, at least he didn’t kill anyone I know and besides, he’s in my fantasy pool. FYI, Drunk driving doesn’t necessarily mean you have a substance abuse problem it can also just mean you’re a douche.

Let me be clear, I’m only referring to a small percentage of players and truly believes that the League is doing its best to keep the game clean and make it safer for its players. The NFL has come a long way in its effort to keep its brand as untarnished as possible and much can be attributed to the Commissioner who’s been coming down harder on offenders.

Perhaps some problems can be attributed to the fact that if you can throw a ball, run fast or hit really hard you have the potential to be brought up like the athletic equivalent of a 4.2 second 40 Britney spears or a 300lb LeLo. It could be more a flaw on how the system treats young athletes from an early age. And lets face it, some guys are just dicks.

I do believe in the greatness of many of the players in the League. The greats I grew up watching and wanted to be like. The supermen who’s posters and jerseys and various memorabilia I bought or had given to me on my birthday. Gridiron greats that were in all those commercials and endorsements and getting paid… Did you notice that the guys with the squeaky clean images make mad money? Does Payton Manning become the face of PAPA Johns pizza if he was in jail for running a dog fighting ring or shooting himself in the leg in a night club or would he be out of the league and actually be making pizza’s for PAPA John?  Probably still in the NFL but most likely not in every 3rd commercial I see.

If living your dream and the dream of so many others doesn’t’ motivate you to walk a straighter line or at least not walk through an airport with a gun, beat up your old lady or get caught smoking pot on the drive home from practice, remember this… Payton Manning made 18 million dollars last year in salary from the Broncos. He then made another 12 million in endorsements. So if making mama proud or risking your future isn’t enough to stop the shenanigans then try to remember that you can make a shit load more money if you at least don’t get caught.


NFL qb conundrum

 

Why doesn’t every team in the NFL have a decent Qb and why is the gap between good, bad, and great so substantial?

There are only so many men on the planet who poses the physical and mental abilities required to play Quarterback at the elite level, even fewer of them are pigskin geniuses. Payton manning is the football equivalent of Steven Hawkins. Tom Brady, Einstein.

We’ve had the same contemporary super star Mt. Rushmore of gun slingers for a long time now and although there is some promising talent out there, what happens (and not too far off) when Manning, Brady, Brees, and rogers have retired? Who would we then refer to as “elite”, who’s faces would be carved onto our next monument to footballs greatest active signal callers?

With the NFL evolving even more into a pass crazed league it can only stand to reason that the golden age of the quarterback is either beginning or perhaps even ending… NFL teams need to create an environment that fosters and grows young talent or risk a revolving door of busts and the death of the elite Qb’s.

If a teams only plan for getting a franchise guy is through the draft then we may be in trouble as a league in the future as the passing game grows more complex than ever. Rookies are not only expected to play but to play well, immediately. How many young prospects in the league will poses the longevity required to become truly elite? Only time will tell. We shouldn’t have to miss out on greatness because the systems too big for the player, the potentially great prospect being thrust onto the stage too early to fail without being given the opportunity to grow.

As with life and football we all must make the most out of the opportunities presented to us or risk missing out entirety.But in a League where you’re expected to win right away it means that lacking in instant success can mean a one way ticket to the insurance industry. 

pigskinmanifesto

 


footloose

 

When did dancing become taunting? How come the NFL won’t let their players do group celebrations? This year even more rules have been put in place to Stop the fun that will ultimately lead to more shootings and teen pregnancies. Non-group dances/celebrations are still for the most part being tolerated by the league but the future of the dirty bird and the Ickey Shuffle remains in question.

The “No Fun League” has it in their heads that doing a group dance after scoring is going to make kids want to dance and maybe do drugs. Are drugs being done by nfl player going to make kids stay in school? Think about it, When men are going to fight they don’t taunt each other with pre-choreographed dance routines in an effort to enrage their opponent.

The NFL has become the pastor father in footloose. celebrations will have to be perpetrated on the other side of the tracks in secret. We all know that dancing leads to drinking, drugs, maybe some sex and we know NFL players hate to consume alcohol, smoke pot and Fornicate…

Here’s a list of no no’s

“Players will be penalized if any of the acts are committed directly at an opponent. These acts include but are not limited to: sack dances; home run swing; incredible hulk; spiking the ball; throwing or shoving the ball; pointing; pointing the ball; verbal taunting; military salute; standing over an opponent (prolonged and with provocation); or dancing.”

And most recently, no slam dunking of the ball on the goal posts! Players currently can still high five and smile after scoring. Currently.

However worry not, The CFL allows all kinds of group celebrations and last I checked, somehow we have managed to keep our murder rate down in the face of it all.

Look, you score, you get to celebrate and if your opponent doesn’t like it I’d suggest stopping the other team or else they may bust a move in your face and make you feel bad.

NFL Players/dancers please feel free to come play in the Canadian league where we as a people encourage players to show off their best “cabbage patch”, “churn the butter” or “hammer time”. We also have Better beer and gun control.

 


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